Cities I would like to move to (an alphabetical list):

Albuqurque

Austin

Chicago

San Francisco

City I am stuck in:

DC

Since graduation I have picked up and moved to a new city with a week's notice twice. Once a year. It's tempting to continue the streak. DC is serious and small, a small town that doesn't know it's smallness, but not in a romantic way. In a "I'm kind of a big deal" kind of way when it just isn't.

It's running into people all the time. It's what do you do and who do you know. It's brown flip flops. It's trying to be something, someone it's not. It's never admit your failures or your weaknesses. It's what we do really matters, even though we're just pencil pushers. It's only dream of moving into a fantastic condo or renovated town house, not dream of making something beautiful.

It's terrible lounges and "you can't smoke here"s.

It's men who don't know how to fall in love.

People who don't know how to fall in love.

I cannot imagine a true romantic gesture happening in this town. I imagine proposals are all diamond rings in the tiramisu . Spoons tapped on champagne glasses so that the whole room looks. Look at me, look how I look like I love this woman. Look how we will spend a hundred thousand dollars on the wedding, and then even more on the divorce. Look at us. Look at me.

Look at my ring. Look at my wedding invitation. Look at my dress. Look. Look.

Or else it's "I'm afraid of commitments" Everyone in this town seems to be afraid. Don't say that. Don't take that picture. Don't be so loud. Don't dance. Don't make me have feelings. Don't make me take risks with my heart.

My heart never learns not to take risks. It lets people in, it gets hurt. It gets so hurt.

But I would rather have a brave and bleeding heart than a frightened cold one. Every time my heart is broken, I at least know I am alive.

I need a city where other people are alive, too.